


Your Man In Blue

by Pixeled



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Drug Use, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:53:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22235890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pixeled/pseuds/Pixeled
Summary: Laughter looked easy on him, like he owned the night and it was made for him, like some precious stone.
Relationships: Reno/Tseng (Compilation of FFVII)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Your Man In Blue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [butteredbandits](https://archiveofourown.org/users/butteredbandits/gifts).



> Suggested Listening: 
> 
> Dance Gavin Dance - We Own The Night  
> Death Cab for Cutie - Man In Blue

Laughter looked easy on him, like he owned the night and it was made for him, like some precious stone.

Tseng watched from afar, his eyes so focused they began to blur with . . . were those tears? Couldn’t be. He blinked.

The night was his goddess and she would never betray him, would she?

He needed a special brand of poison that night. Whiskey wasn't doing it for him, so he slipped into the night, buffeted by the coat that couldn't block the wind, even with the lapels turned up, the sleeves pulled down over the tops of his hands clad in half-gloves. He could feel the weight of his gun in its holster—small comforts in a cruel world made up of his effortless smiles.

Fuck that smile. Fuck that perfect row of teeth he wished he could feel against the column of his throat. He dreamed of sloppy kisses, needed medication instead to flow through his veins.

What would they all say? That he needed to be medicated all night long, to open up his veins and let that poison flow through him?

He kept thinking it would all get so much easier, but nothing ever did. Sloppy kisses and dirty wishes plagued him, but all he had was emptiness, nothingness, that hit that made him numb, medicated his brain until he didn't see that perfect face, instead felt the fact that he was barely hanging on.

He swallowed the demons on his own, and yet he still felt that he was better than this. Maybe he was . . . once.

Now he self-medicated so he didn't feel the loneliness.

Where did he go wrong? How did he come to live this double life? Why couldn't he just enjoy a night out? Why did he feel the need to go off by himself?

He didn't even get home, hiding in an alleyway to do what he needed to do, to give himself false hope that everything was okay. That first hit felt like all the dirty secrets he kept his whole life and all the bliss he'd been searching his whole entire life—conundrums and mixed signals that fired in his brain like a short circuit. The numbness followed and he took a deep breath as the blanket enfolded him in a false sense of security. He didn't give a shit anymore that he would never see him, never smile at him in that easy way.

He didn't hear the footsteps at first, but then they sounded thunderous in his hazy brain.

"Tseng."

That voice, calling his name like it belonged in his mouth.

"What are you doing?” he asked. "The others wondered where you went. It's your birthday. You're kinda the center of attention."

Except he wasn't. He was alone—had been, sitting and staring into the brown of the liquor that matched the color of his dark Wutain eyes.

Tseng said nothing, focused on the blanket of nothingness. His sleeve was still rolled up, the needle under his shoe, discarded. His eyes, dilated to shit, tried to focus on Reno's, but nothing mattered. Nothing ever would.

"Did you seriously?" Reno asked.

"Happy birthday to me," Tseng whispered.

"Tseng, what the fuck?" Reno asked.

"Yeah. Now go away and let me destroy myself in peace." He said it more harshly than he meant to.

"What is this about?"

"You wouldn't understand. Everyone loves you. No one sees me. They see what I can do for them—what can advance them and their goals. No one cares. Fuck everyone. Fuck you too, with your pretty smile and your whatever the fuck this is. You don't care that I left."

"Tseng."

"Baby, this is livin'," Tseng hissed, bowed, and turned to walk away, but Reno grabbed his hand.

"At least let me do it with ya," Reno said.

"It's literally poison in your veins," Tseng laughed bitterly. "It medicates me all night long."

"Don't threaten me with a good time," Reno winked.

"Don't do that," Tseng said.

"Do what?"

"Give me false hope. I can't take it."

"It's just some fun. Isn't that why you do it?"

"I do it to get away. Everyone wants something from me. Nobody sees me. Not on my birthday. Not ever."

"Bullshit. I see you."

Tseng started walking and Reno followed, keeping in step.

"If you come with me, you'll see what a mess I am," Tseng sighed.

"Everyone's a mess. 'Specially the Turks. Just 'cause we wear pretty suits doesn't mean we aren't all a pile of shit underneath. For what it's worth, I think you're worth knowing."

"I'll prove you wrong."

"Impossible. Let me go back with you?"

And so that pretty smile followed Tseng home.

And so he was right. The needle slipped so easily in Reno's vein and he pretended that smile was for him, but later he called out to an old love.

Tseng draped blankets over Reno.

Reno opened his eyes even as it began raining outside.

"My man in blue," he whispered.

"I don't need to be your man in blue. I need you to see what I see. This was a mistake. You're never going to be what I want."

"I know your name, silly," Reno sighed.

"Then why did you call out to someone else?"

"Fuck, Tseng, I was high out of my mind. Forgive me?"

"I just want you to smile at me like you smile at everyone else." Tseng looked away.

"Nah," Reno shrugged. "My smile for you is different. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you."

"Your man in blue? What does that even mean?"

"You're sad. You need someone to take care of you. You always run, though. I've always loved you, you know."

"Don't be cruel," Tseng whispered.

"I'm yours," Reno whispered back. "Did I fuck it up?"

"I don’t know. I love you, too," Tseng said.


End file.
